The Physics of Love

If you search for me outside yourself, you will never find me.. because I have been in you all along. 

We were born whole beings and somewhere the history of this crazy time we began to believe the illusion that we can only receive love from the outside.

So first and foremost, love requires removing this veil of separation between you and it… unraveling the belief that it is something outside of us.

The only reason one does not attract the love they desire is because they are not giving it to themselves. It’s just plain physics, not some fairy tale story of prince charming. So what I am saying is, if you want to attract love, BECOME it. We are magnetic beings, only able to attract what we are, impossible to attract anything we are not.

If your main nutrients come from from the outside (ie. love, validation, approval..), you will be hungry forever. If you feed yourself with your own nutrients, you’ll never be hungry a day in your life.

So what I am saying is this: Reroute the pathway from out to in. Feed yourself with your own love.

Then from this place, you will be able to say: "To all the men who left me for my friends, cheated on me, toyed with my heart and drove me mad- thank you for showing up just as you did so that I could unravel my karmic knots through you and become the woman I have always known I am here to be... a woman whole in herself.

I am "The One"

Somewhere along the history of our time, this definition lost its original meaning. Relationships have changed from a healthy bond between self-sufficient individuals to a deep dependency between two people saturated with attachment and lack. The latter approach is due entirely to a missing step in the process: Becoming whole and compete in our own skin before seeking partnership and looking inside for answers.

Hold your horses, no need to freak! I am not saying this is the case for every relationship, but let’s put it this way: how many people do you know who have put in the time, money, energy and commitment to truly finding themselves, clearing away past programming, and becoming their greatest potential? While this number is rising rapidly, we are still living in a society drenched with dependency, self-loathing, and projecting our emotions outward.

Just turn on the news for the most explosive example of this: War. War is caused by the projection of internal pain and blockages outward, transforming into violence and hatred. This primal projection lands on the easiest available target: religion, gender, sexuality, and race. War is not caused by people authentically hating others; War is caused by the inability to effectively communicate with someone else due to the war going inside the human mind.

Now let’s take a look at romantic relationships, after all that’s the area we all crave at our core. We all crave love, support, and affection. We all crave that feeling of being desired by someone, feeling safe and secure in a relationship, and feeling true intimacy with a partner. This may sound all fun and dandy but do you see the underlying theme here? Do you see the similarity between romantic relationships and war?

If I am saying that war is caused by projecting unresolved emotions outward, this is actually no different to the wars existing in relationships. They are both caused by the failure of looking inward, the failure of becoming whole and complete within ourselves first.

All relationship wars and battles can be resolved by this sacred tool: Looking inward. By taking responsibility as the creator of the missed communication, releasing victim mentality, and acknowledging how the other person is reflecting of our own internal war.
For those of you hearing this concept for the first time, start practicing by catching yourself before you react to an external trigger. In this gap period, ask yourself where is this coming from? How could this possibly be coming from me? The next step would be to find the internal reflection that is being magnified by this external trigger.

Here is an example of a reflection that came up for me my entire dating life, from 13 to just 6 months ago. I had a pattern of attracting men who made me feel small, unworthy, and undervalued. Why? Because I was lacking my own self-worth, I did not value myself, and I wasn’t living at my fullest potential. Once I began to work on my own relationship with myself, I immediately started attracting men who treated me the way I always deserved to be treated! They began to reflect my own internal self-love and self-worth. You see, people can only treat you the way you treat yourself. You are the center of your solar system; everything has been created for your evolution, for your growth. You are your own everything. You are “the one.”

 

Becoming my Own Soul Mate

I am learning to become my own soul mate, my own best friend, and my own everything.

Like many of us, I struggle being alone at times, both in public and in private. In public, while waiting for a friend at a restaurant or a bar my mind often goes crazy with ego fueled thoughts like, “what if people think I am a loser for being alone? Can people tell how uncomfortable I am? What if someone I used to date sees me here all by myself and thinks I must be crazy for being 27 and still single?”

The moment that the flood of thoughts become too much, I instinctively reach for protection: my beloved iPhone, and immediately a wave of comfort rushes over me. What is it that our phones do in these moments? I have done a lot of thinking and observing on this and I believe we escape into our phones when we feel uncomfortable out in the world, when we start to believe the stories in our heads about what people may be thinking. The reality is that nearly 99/100 times the stories are entirely false. The other people are too busy worrying about themselves to even care.

Using my phone as a comfort blanket is no different than me feeling exponentially more confident going out to a party with a friend by my side. These are all external energies that we rely on for comfort, yet they are merely reflections of ourselves so really, we have all the comfort inside of us already.

In September I am challenging myself to go to India alone. I am going to rid myself of all of these external comfort blankets and become entirely okay being alone, without the reassurance or confidence booster of technology or a best friend.

I am committed to becoming my own everything, to being 100% okay alone in my own skin and not believing my own stories about what people may think. It is when we love ourselves unconditionally, that we attract magic into our lives, and I’m committed to living a life full of magic.