Becoming my Own Soul Mate

I am learning to become my own soul mate, my own best friend, and my own everything.

Like many of us, I struggle being alone at times, both in public and in private. In public, while waiting for a friend at a restaurant or a bar my mind often goes crazy with ego fueled thoughts like, “what if people think I am a loser for being alone? Can people tell how uncomfortable I am? What if someone I used to date sees me here all by myself and thinks I must be crazy for being 27 and still single?”

The moment that the flood of thoughts become too much, I instinctively reach for protection: my beloved iPhone, and immediately a wave of comfort rushes over me. What is it that our phones do in these moments? I have done a lot of thinking and observing on this and I believe we escape into our phones when we feel uncomfortable out in the world, when we start to believe the stories in our heads about what people may be thinking. The reality is that nearly 99/100 times the stories are entirely false. The other people are too busy worrying about themselves to even care.

Using my phone as a comfort blanket is no different than me feeling exponentially more confident going out to a party with a friend by my side. These are all external energies that we rely on for comfort, yet they are merely reflections of ourselves so really, we have all the comfort inside of us already.

In September I am challenging myself to go to India alone. I am going to rid myself of all of these external comfort blankets and become entirely okay being alone, without the reassurance or confidence booster of technology or a best friend.

I am committed to becoming my own everything, to being 100% okay alone in my own skin and not believing my own stories about what people may think. It is when we love ourselves unconditionally, that we attract magic into our lives, and I’m committed to living a life full of magic.